I wish my spouse had never told me she liked a threesome | Sex |

I’m in deep love with an excellent girl. The sex life is healthy but she told me (quite flippantly) she had experimented with a threesome before we found, and it is truly troubling myself. We ask yourself in regards to the gory details. It creates myself feel very uncomfortable and that I want she had never ever explained. She said she wasn’t embarrassed of it, it was years back, and therefore she enjoys me personally and would never do anything to harm me personally. In the beginning she recommended a threesome beside me, measured my personal reaction, then never mentioned it once again. How can I place this unimportant material from my personal head? Or perhaps is it unimportant? My personal level-headed home tells me it is.

It isn’t uncommon for a person to locate threesomes extremely sexual. At some amount you are sure that this is nothing to do with you, you tend to be dealing with two aspects of the mind. First, jealously is actually an all-natural personal emotion so we are wired feeling uneasy in regards to the concept of a lover being with another person against all of our desires. Second, there is certainly an obsessional section of your brain that will get locked into thinking about this subject. This involves immediate interest, thus I advise this thought-stopping strategy: anytime the topic comes into your thoughts, 1) view it, 2) interrupt that idea and 3) replace it with something more positive and practical – such as for instance “I love her, and the last is unimportant”. Many people put on an elastic wristband they’re able to click to jolt all of them into consciousness. Remove these mental poison before they sabotage your own relationship.

Pamela Stephenson Connolly is actually a clinical psychologist and psychotherapist which specialises in treating intimate problems.